Idiot.

I need for someone to sit down and write The Idiots Guide to Not Being a Complete U.S. Army Dumb Ass. This my friends, is another language and culture all together!

E-what?

PF-something

Where is Dhi Qar?

...for that matter, where exactly is Iraq?

See what I mean? And it digresses from there. Maybe Miss Teen South Carolina and I can go get a latte and talk about...er...stumble over...uh...attempt to converse about The Iraq or possibly Everywhere Like Such As. She'd be in good company. My knowledge spans no further than the plastic boots of G.I. Joe and his action-hero jointed limbs. Even then, who am I kidding? I was a thoroughbred Barbie girl. No camo for this Princess.

I'm lost.

::sigh::

...and completely overwhelmed.

My adopted soldier, who we'll cast now as The Private, will perhaps be a test of informational endurance. As for The Staff Sergeant, well, I'm a bit smitten and also, he has good shoes. So, please someone remember to make that justification in my eulogy when the capacity of my brain overloads and I burst...