What if it ends? What if I enjoy you more than you enjoy me? What if your delight in me is bogus? Or worse, what if it is mere manipulation to get from me what you want? What if I love you and then you die, divorce me, or turn against me? The risk is more than I can bear, and so I refuse to open my heart to another person who will arouse my desire and then might use me or dash me to the ground.
Such ambivalence is the enemy of love, [because love] is the capacity to offer ourselves to others.
Exerpt from The Healing Path by Dan Allender, pg 29