Monday, January 28, 2008

The Annual Occurrance

21 minutes and I'll have another year down, one more unit marked off in the pursuit of life's meaning, to making my mark, to living, growing, surviving, and learning.

[and I'm not who I thought I was...]

It is in these transitional periods that I am reminded of myself at this time year ago - different, sad, defeated, lost. It's refreshing to be where I am right now.

[...twenty-four hours ago...]

23 was less than a cake-walk. There was a lot of heartbreak, and not just the conventional type, and not just the kind that's inflicted strictly by others. I learned that I'm a lot stronger than I ever thought I was. There were innumerable moments that I wanted to give up, that I really felt I had nothing to offer, that I had no motivation to move forward. It makes my heart ache to remember me last January...

[Twenty-four voices...]

Now 24 looms on the 8 minute horizon. It's coming and I'm ready - for whatever lies ahead. This year I become eligible for FAFSA grants that only consider my [meager] income. I graduate from business school. I inch closer to what I want to do when I grow up. This first really healthy relationship will [hopefully] continue to flourish. I'm gradually accepting the divorce. I'm thinking about real estate, relocation, careers, graduate school...

[...with twenty-four hearts]

...and good ole' fashioned snail mail [which, I know has no real place in that initial train of though, but is so definitely worth mentioning]. It started with Saturday and the sweetest card from The Staff Sergeant's Mom, then today I heard back for the first time from one of my adopted solders! And a friend of mine told me that she had sent me a letter, too. How long has it been since I got ONE letter in the mail, much less THREE? It's maybe one of my most favorite [circumstantial] birthday presents.

[All of my symphonies...]

It's midnight now, so I guess I made it. My fellow Army girlfriend just wished me a happy birthday :) She's making sure I don't spend Tuesday moping around wishing I could spend it with my soldier.

[ twenty-four parts]

I'm done now. My old age is taking it's toll. Midnight is all I can handle. I'm so sleepy.

Goodnight 23. Chapter finished. Door closed.

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