I wonder how many people have been discouraged only to find profound success in the very thing that was doubted.
She asked what it was that I wanted to do, and by this point in the conversation I was screaming profanities in my head at her invariable distraction among a sea of other tasks.
[HELLO! THAT'S WHY I'M HERE!]
Of course, if eye contact was asking too much, her taking the time to read a sample of my writing was absolutely out of the question. Write for the school paper, she suggested, or get an internship. Great advice except I'm one of those students who works to pay bills. You see, there isn't time for internships or extra curricular clutter. I just have to finish, already, and then decide what new frontier needs conquering. Here is where the prospect of grad school seems the next logical leap, but no, no, no, she thinks I've missed the boat and a master's degree isn't my life raft...
And as all hope obviously drained from my face, she told me to buck up, to send her my resume, to meet with the newspaper staff on campus.
[ARE YOU KIDDING!?]
With or without her blessings, I'll be steadfast in my future plans. I haven't been beaten down by one voice. I haven't quite loosened my grip on the dream. In grad school I imagine they teach you how to write, how to research, how to interview, and how to refine the glimmer of talent, if it's there. So she doesn't believe in me [she didn't even read a page]. She didn't bother to ask how I'd arrived at this place, in this seat in her office. She doesn't know me or my abilities from Adam's dog...
I was just. so. hopeful. Again that issue with expectations rears it's ugly head. I want too much from people, and when they can't deliver to my standards, I'm crushed. She jabbed and I stumbled from the impact, yet that was just round one. I guess I'm good for a few others before tapping out.